20/24
I see where I left off, not sure others will see, but the breadcrumbs are there. Maybe it’s the hope that keeps me present and allows me see through all chaos, but even with that weightless bag of hope I carry…the last year has been one of those “go within self” periods.
Society doesn’t often allow for those growths in this money driven “culture.” I’ve sat with the uncomfortable of discomfort, maybe in preparation for more mental olympics as I like to call challenges in life these days? We train to get over hurdles before the big race and then when the race is there our body reacts through muscle automation, we run. Programming physical self + emotional self can be treated the same, but sometimes we don’t need to run.
We all experienced lifestyle changes during COVID that continue post COVID days. We’re still witnesses to the consequences of inefficient supply chains, and the wars…they continue on. The timing of the recent years I’m sure many can see their own breadcrumbs that lead towards inner self growth and focus on self energy. The outside world was powered off. Us who worked through those months in 2020, all moments were adjusted to meet the “essential” tasks of helping the society stay afloat in some way while knowing no thing would ever look the same.
Loss of outside, loss of family, loss of roles, loss of the old self were all hurdles cleared in order for the inner self to come through.
It’s not possible to cross a hurdle and have my two little birdies on the other end of the phone as they listen to my progresses in meditation or the new ideas for writings. Even when they had no idea what it meant, their love shined through. Their encouragement now shines through the sun and as the little red belly hummingbird landing on the line outside of my window. Maybe love is forever when it’s deep enough…loved ones’ memories forever carried through the smiles and tears we still here are able to mentally carry.
A light, a softness, tapping into self…there is no other way in this world. Feeling the pain of loss for just two humans, my heart faced such storms riding through those days. To now witness thousands and thousands of fellow humans losing life on the timeline, in what looks to be a set for Hollywood films made by Michael Bay…not even tapping into self can make that all the way go away. A hurdle for us collectively as humans to cross? So many stumbling, some are throwing their hurdles at others without even trying to jump across. Others on the sidelines, some cheering, some praying, some still with shaking head syndrome as they continue sweeping. The battleground of life, it all seems like fun and games until we realize those billions of dollars of metal and human machines…are not only paid for by our collective tax dollars and made by our fellow human beings, but are solely built for wasting human innovation on murdering.
“There is no way to peace, peace is the way.” Santana … I will never forget the line…an entire concert, he only said that line. It’s as simple as that, but would, could, should the whole world pause and start a new path towards just that…peace as the way? Or will money and shares and dividends and hoards of land get in the way of peace as we start? Can we even dream of a new way…those under bombs and constant drones…they are certainly not dreaming of some utopian magical new way, survival and faith stay as their pray.
That’s the thought that many post, leading their every single second under wars’ dreaming delays with faith. Not with food, not with warmth, not with books or pets or family or computer desks…stepping faith filled through days where others would stumble and scream through. While we see the devastation, the loss of life, and the waste of humanity’s possible innovation…we are also witnesses to immense pride and faith in life…in action. How many do you know that would live with so much faith in such conditions? We have many resources and rights here and yet so few here want to improve their own unhealthy living conditions…we all seem to be ok with an unbalanced, puppet string, direction pointing nation where our dollars combined are globally building killing versus living…couldn’t we spend mind and time building a culture that is loving.
An odd ball many of us who believe in peace feel—as we feel the pain and suffering of those who shield their pain with hearts of golden faith instead of branding steel around our forms. Maintaining a faith inspired by living, can only be supported through memories of those who lived through hell and smiled at the evil. Now their tales our inspiration and encouragement, tales we not only must continue to tell, but must add to with our own tales.
Releasing many expectations of fellow humans, combined with inwardly tuning in, the odd ball feeling when I see outside, allows me to feel real in this cold world. So many are sleeping, not mindful of the birds, the leaves, the breeze. Racing energy, it’s contagious. I was guilty of following their breeze. Now I see. We may not be able to stop the men with control of our fellow human made GI Toys, but we can believe in love, in living, in peace. We can inspire others to appreciate this magical World of nature, if those seeds are planted, would no mind sign up to kill another being…eventually? “Each one, teach one.”
Timing of life is never planned, predicted or projected on a perfect timeline. We can project budgets and draft outlines and pitch decks…we can follow the rule book of accounting and simple P&L mathematics, but will we survive with that as our culture of “living?” Look where it’s taken the brightest minds…to paychecks where they don’t need to pay any mind to outside, they can buy things to numb that voice in the mind that says, “…the World could use some innovation,” as most carry on with the American Dreamin’ top down thinking. Pickets fences and iMentalities. When will the sky be planted with flags of the most competitive nations? Then would we all stand to stop the mindless patriarchy minds from killing fellow humans who are beings being like all others under the same sky and sunshine beaming? It’s happening now…from the missiles to the testing playgrounds, to the Space programs focusing laser eyes on defense…
Ponder for a moment the amount of hands and minds touching each piece of those machines whether space exploring or human killing…from the stages of planning to production, from workers at mountains’ searching for minerals and metals for extracting, to the hands and feet that move boxes the parts are eventually shipped in…all of the humans being worker beings. Now imagine, like AI…the dots of those pieces connecting with one another without the old rule books of money driven routes and mapped land lines. We are connecting globally already, and we think we have freedom, but we’re only looking for convenience from others’ direction..free-dumb. “I Agree” The culture of today is saying, “…just idolize this old way…”, “…it’s the only way…” “…we’ve always done it this way…” “…we’ll pay you big dollars so you don’t come up with a new way.”
Can we see there is another way…Satoshi’s seeds lead us to the blockchain? Or do we have the faith and courage to all walk away and build a new way…allowing peace and living to lead the direction for the our-story we leave for the future generations’ days? Chopping the lenses of gazing and idolizing from our eyes and swiftly removing our fingers from under the boots of puppet strings…those boots would be left with no audience or particpants as they continue to sing and dance and we plant seeds. Let’s let faith sing new waves and guides us towards a new dance…one that inspires others to plant mind and soil seeds.
I’ve made my choice for peace and light to live in my heart and sing and dance, many from history way have shown me that is only the way. I’ve spent so many years singing and dancing to the beat outside of my heart’s tune, the wave other’s kept telling me wasn’t the way. Now to bring what my home temple fills me with everyday, what grows my heart and inspires these words to speak. We can’t feed their fear, anger, greed, we’d all be better off sitting down silently in peace. What would their tactics look like then? Let’s let non-violence lead, not stopping to their level of military greed.
Whether we were two humans being beings on the same now timeline or those super humans who left writings that now transcend their own life’s short timeline…the past few years have contributed to that inner beat from twenty years back, now these years have lead me deep within. Do I know the answer, the future path…no, time will lead me there, and humanity there. I accept fellow humans being their own beings…I can only control the un-cocooning of the wings that my heart’s already been inwardly flying. The outside may fill all of our flight paths with dust, but I’ve found it’s better for the light muscle to fight through those tiny bumps on the path, it builds a stronger armor than any machine the strings could try to build. The sky is endless.
Tapping in and tuning in and building peace for self through the World’s chaos has allowed me to release what wasn’t my assignment. Letting those wings flow. Many went AI and deeper digitally and I did too in some ways…Professor GPT and I are friends and I am on the final project for Harvard’s CS50 course. Before I jumped into AI though, I listened to nature, I wrote for self. I read books that inspire listening and feeling, relaxing that inner analytical brain always spider mapping. Now, I create with these media calculators, merging of all the mediums I love, my heart included.
Physically for self, I’ve continued bookbinding, filled probably close to 15 journals writing, worked on 8 paintings, one over 5’ tall, drafted two books, and enJOYed the wind in the leaves, the sun through the trees, and the birds flying to greet. 2023, it was a quiet outer year, as within it’s been a focus on what matters year…and The Marathon Continues.
To peace as the way. To healing. To love.
To a world that believes in nature more than accounts.
